Since I spent a year at the University of Chicago and managed to earn a degree while I was there, I get a monthly email that includes the Ivy League Association of Southern California events calendar. Other than the occasional hike or concert, I don't usually attend the events. One upcoming forum did catch my eye: "Wharton Women: The Decision to Stay Home or Go Back to Work" If you read my blog, you will know I'm interested in the issue, plus there's been some discussion at work of trying to recruit stay-at-home moms who want to go back to work (among many, many other groups) since we're having serious problems recruiting enough employees. So I clicked to read the description of the forum. There are three panelists:
1. "In addition to years as a nonfiction magazine writer and editor, Steiner has an MBA degree in marketing from the Wharton School of Business. She launched Splenda Brand Sweetener around the world for Johnson & Johnson, the world’s largest consumer healthcare company. Over the years, she has turned her professional experience into advocacy for abused women as a spokeswoman at The Harriet Tubman Center in Minneapolis. She joined The Washington Post in February 2001." She does not currently stay at home.
2. "[The panelist] is Manager in the Los Angeles office of The Boston Consulting Group. [She] was initially based in the New York office and she subsequently relocated to Los Angeles. She has primarily consulted to clients in the biopharmaceutical, consumer goods and retail industries. She also served as the Recruiting Director for the Los Angeles office... She also serves on the Strategic Planning Task Force for the Starlight Starbright Children's Foundation headquartered in Los Angeles. She is the mother of 15 month old boy/girl twins, Max and Zoe." She does not currently stay at home.
3. Oh yes, and the token stay-at-home mom who used to be a Disney executive, but now stays home and also serves on the Corporate Committee at Children's Hospital LA.
Granted, this event is targeted at women graduates from one of the top business schools in the country, so there is bound to be a higher than usual proportion of busy, career-driven types attending, but I have a lot of trouble believing anyone will walk away from the event feeling great about a decision to stay at home full time with children, especially if no hospital board memberships are readily available to them. I could be wrong. It is on a weekday morning, which I would imagine makes it kind of tough for people already in the workforce to attend. (Although I suppose if you're a Disney executive, you can get to work any time you darn well please.) I wonder whether kids are welcome. Hehe. :)
Posted by waltondammerung at February 21, 2006 2:47 PMHi Amy! Good post, interesting event- I wish that I could attend! I used to think that of course I'd stay home as soon as I had a baby- no brainer. Now that I am living a life where I am face-to-face with the reality that it might actually happen, I am a little less sure.
We have this idea in our American conciousness that it used to be that the wife stayed home and husband went to work. Well, there was a time when both worked from home and a class has always exsisted when both HAD to work outside the home (mostly post-industrial). The thought of being home all day while hubby is gone all day, or having to drive somewhere with an infant, makes me a little crazy. The thought of my husband and I laboring together for something we both value sounds delightful- but is this a viable reality?
The issue is a lot hard when faced in reality than in abstract, "of course I'd stay home." Child-rearing in 21st century America is a lonely, unappreciated task. Kind of depressing, don't you think?
Posted by: Sarah (Mrs. Irani) at February 22, 2006 7:46 AMForget about annoying, overachieving career women--I want to hear about surfing lessons! Did you wear a wetsuit? Here in Boston, it is snowing. Our heater stopped working sometime in the night, and this afternoon I learned how to light a gas furnace.
Posted by: Vic at February 25, 2006 3:05 PM"For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. What profit is it to a [wo]man if [s]he gains the whole world, and loses [her] soul?" Matthew 16:25-26
Daunting though the prospect "of being home all day while hubby is gone" may be, keep in mind that any change or move into unknown territory is intimidating. And from this side of the generational divide, I would also say that the freedom of being a "career mother" affords more opportunity for service and true success than you can imagine. No, not everyone will be invited to serve on a hospital board, but there are many other boards and organizations begging for informed, educated volunteers.
Notoriety, material success, and recognition are not worthy goals, they are worldly goals. That is not to say that people who achieve them are bad people - God may in fact see fit to put you in a position of recognized influence. But that's His call. Our aim should be complete obedience to Him, and contentment in the circumstances where we find ourselves.
Your talent, expertise, and intellect can be put to use anywhere, anytime, even while caring for infants and toddlers. God gave those talents to you and while He is generous beyond description, He is not wasteful. It's not easy to give up the things for which we have been culturally conditioned to strive, but it is definitely worth it. Vic, Sarah and Amy are all walking evidence of that!
Posted by: Mom at February 25, 2006 6:24 PMAnother thought -
Today I recalled reading an article early in my stay-at-home career in which the author remarked that if she wanted to spend 5-7 years getting a PhD, none of her friends or business associates would have batted an eye. In fact, they would have praised that choice. However, when she announced she was staying home with her children (for roughly the same amount of time), no one encouraged her; quite the opposite. Her point was that investing those years in her children's lives was just as - or more- important to their growth and development as pursuing an advanced degree would be for hers. Not that advanced degrees are something to be avoided, but early learning and experiences are critical in every child's life, and can only happen in a very narrow window of time. Devoting time and energy to that period of life should not be denigrated - the parent who cares for and teaches children at this age is providing an inestimable service to the children and to society at large.